Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Dark thoughts

Long chat with j last night about weight issues, eating and the impending surgery. I know he’s worried about my having elective surgery and the 1 in 500 deaths that we have been quoted.

Tried to reassure him (and myself) that I don’t plan on dying, but there is always that worry. J and I have wills that have been carefully written to provide best for j. I’ll have to show them both ewhere the life insurance papers are etc. It’s not a pleasant idea.

I’ve read that some people write letters to all their loved ones before surgery, just in case. I haven’t decided whether I’m going to do that or not. When I start to think about how I would start and what I would say, I start to cry and it hurts so much I have to stop. I do tend to catastrophise, but I don’t know whether this is something I should follow through with or not.

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